Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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