you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
