My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
