Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
