dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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