Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
