I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
