So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
