So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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