One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
