my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I had to cum in my sink.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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