Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
