You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
