Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
