the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
