so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
