Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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