I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
This is classic penis vs brain.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
