I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
