I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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