Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
