the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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