You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
