she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
