did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
