on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
