her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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