Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
