so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
