he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
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