That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
