well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
