YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
