I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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