I will die if light touches me.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
