I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
