she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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