peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
