My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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