yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
