Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
