if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
