he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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