I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Pooping to opera.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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