Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
