Yo dont text me then not text me
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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