I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
