Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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