he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
