there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
