so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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