So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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